Posted by: nhfalcon | May 22, 2011

J. A.R.D. v.5.22.11

* – sage words:

* – well, if this is true, then I don’t have to worry about anybody rooting around in my ass any time real soon, and I’m ok with that!

Barista! Another venti, hot, with cream and extra, extra sugar over here! Stat! πŸ™‚

* – the Force is strong in this Juan:


* – the Force is strong in these two, as well:

* – they’re gonna reboot The FlintstonesΒ tv series? Really?

* – they’re gonna remake Bloodsport?! REALLY?!

* – meet the villain in the next Batman film.

* – oh, lord, take me downtown / I’m just looking for some tush!

* – 57 years of Playboy all in one spot? Sign me up! πŸ™‚

* – he will now and forevermore be known as “The Sperminator.”

And not to diminish the betrayal that Schwarzenegger has committed here, but this is the best he could do? YEEESH!!! He’s Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger. He’s one of the most iconic action movie heroes of all time. He couldn’t have cheated on his wife with somebody just a little more attractive? There are guys I’d bone before I touched this piece of work with a ten-foot pole, much less my dick. This is worse than when Bill Clinton cheated on Hilary with Monica Lewinsky. He was the President of the United States. The leader of the free world. The most powerful man on the planet. And he committed adultery with Lewinsky?! At least JFK bagged Marilyn Monroe.

If you ever had any doubts as to whether or not I was a shallow, sexist pig, they’re gone now, aren’t they? πŸ™‚

* – this ad would SO not go over well nowadays:


* – RIP, Harmon Killebrew.

* – RIP, Macho Man.

* – I hope this woman burns for all of eternity in the hottest pit of hell.

* – and, if she’s found guilty, I hope this woman joins her.

* – really, Tennessee? Really? Grow up.

* – apparently Tennessee doesn’t pay much attention to Gallup polls.

* – now who’da thunk Rush Limbaugh would defend Donovan McNabb?

* – could the internet spell the end of snow days? Should it?

* – whoopsie! Why couldn’t my middle school have been like this? πŸ™‚

* – holy fucking nanny state, Batman!

* – speaking of nanny state idiocy, stock up on light bulbs now, folks, because starting January 1st the bulbs you’re using now will be banned and their replacements will cost you $50 – EACH!!!

* – you need a license to pump gas for a living in New York City. I shit you not. Can you say “nanny state,” boys and girls? I think you can…

* – How to Take Advantage of the Nanny State 101.

* – white people can file lawsuits claiming racism? No way!

I think this lawsuit is gonna leave liberals in quite the quandary, too. I mean, the defendants are black, so you would think libs would automatically root for them. But, the plaintiffs are teachers, so… what to do?

* – ah, those warm and cuddly and fuzzy unions, never resorting to illegal means to further their aims

* – Harry Reid’s state got a partial waiver from Obamacare. Huh. Weird. Why would Harry Reid’s state want a waiver from Obamacare? Isn’t Obamacare one of Harry’s babies? One of his crowning achievements? Weird…

* – oh, and almost 20% of the Obamacare waivers given out in April were to businesses in Nancy Pelosi’s district. Huh. Weird.

* – this seems pretty sensible to me:

* – oh, those wacky college kids…

* – think taxing the rich is a good idea? Let’s ask somebody who’s done some homework.

* – Understanding Liberalism 101.

* – “the Donald” isn’t going to run for president after all? Gee, imagine my disappointment…


* – I can’t say I’m all that disappointed that the Huckster decided to bow out of the race, too.

* – if only Newt had followed their lead

Obviously I’m not the only one who feels this way about Newt.

* – I’m not a big Mitt Romney fan, either.

* – now this guy, on the other hand, I can get behind:

* – if I’m Michelle Bachmann I take this challenge very seriously. I accept it, I study my ass off for it, I accept the possibility that I may lose it, and,Β if I do lose it,Β I use the loss as an opportunity to learn.

And I do all of the above very publicly. Just because my challenger is a high school sophomore doesn’t mean she’s not a legitimate opponent.

* – exactly how the HELL do you lose track of six MILLION immigrants?!

* – so, does our involvement in Libya fall under the 1973 War Powers Act or doesn’t it? ‘Cuz if it does

* – oh, that’s right, Libya’s not a war. It’s a “kinetic military action,” so the War Powers Act doesn’t apply. Silly me…

* – so, is Obama’s general foriegn policy to try to appease all of our enemies and to abandon or piss off all of our allies? ‘Cuz, other than for a very few specific examples, that’s certainly what it seems like to me.

* – apparently Obama’s had a change of heart since 2008…

* – I can’t say that I blame Netanyahu here.

* – I think this may have been the best “Klavan on the Culture” yet:

* – I’ll wrap up with some general Obama / liberal-bashing, just ‘cuz it’s fun… πŸ™‚



  1. I love Bibi Netanyahu. Man’s got balls.

  2. You’ll still have a colonoscopy sometime pretty soon, my friend. πŸ˜€

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