Posted by: nhfalcon | April 24, 2011

J.A.R.D. v.4.24.11

* – Happy Easter, everybody!

And to answer your questions: no, nothing is sacred, and yes, I’m a heathen, pagan, atheist bastard. 🙂

* – well, if this is the case, I must be one of the healthiest guys on the planet:


* – we’ve heard it before, but yes, a life-size Barbie is pretty freakish, and should generate a serious discussion about what women have to deal with in terms of body image issues.

* – um, yeah…

And I used to live near that area, too.

* – and this one time (for the fourth time) at band camp…

* – the new Jason Bourne?

* – well, whaddaya know – a brand new Roadrunner cartoon!

* – speaking of the old classic WB cartoons, Little Man was recently exposed to them by a friend at school, so I dug out my DVD copy of The Bugs Bunny / Road Runner Movie and showed him what good cartoons are, like this one:

* – we recently got Megamind for Little Man the other day (side note: I don’t know if it’s still going on, but Target was having a HELL of a DVD sale that day. Megamind was $6.99. Red was $5.99.  The (original) Karate Kid, the first Smokey and the Bandit, and Mrs. Doubtfire were all under four bucks!). It was a far better movie than I anticipated, given that I am not a Will Ferrell fan. It ended with everybody dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Bad,” which Little Man found exceptionally enjoyable to dance to, much to the enjoyment of Cookiemaker and I, and which reminded me of this:

which reminded me of this:

which reminded me of this:

I miss Weird Al.

* – this is kinda too bad, because, even though I never watched his new show, I liked Reiser in Mad About You.

* – don’t get me wrong, this is funny and everything…

… I’m just pretty sure I’d never be that enthusiastic to drive any car.

* – if you ever wanted to see a North Atlantic right whale off of Cape Cod, now is the time.

* – ladies and gentlemen, the 100 greatest insults in Hollywood history (warning: VERY profane!)

* – for those of you who might be interested, here are some of Time’s 100 most influential people.

* – “And now . . . the good news!

Fifty percent of all sports teams won their games last season.

Three billion people are having a nice day today.

The forest has plenty of owls.

The sun came up this morning.

Half of all students graduate in the upper 50% of their class.

Eagles are back.

For 90% of the Earth this past year, the ground didn’t shake, the wind didn’t blow too hard, the ocean stayed at the beach, and nothing burned down.

If your glass is half empty, maybe it’s twice as big as it needs to be. Let yourself look on the bright side. If something happens on the dark side while your back is turned, it’s probably none of your business anyway.”

From an email I got from a friend of mine the other day.

* – from Dennis Miller’s Facebook page back on April 5th: Fan: “Dennis, the whole country wants to know when you are taking on Bill Maher, please don’t let us down.” DM: “Bill is an old friend. We see things really differently but old friendships mean a whole lot more to me than winning debates (emphasis mine).”

That it why, much to the shock of many, Mrs. Chili and I get along.

* – look, if you’ve spent even the slightest amount of time here at the Eyrie, it’s pretty obvious that I lean fairly far to the right politically. That being said, as I’ve mentioned many times in the past, I’m not afraid to call out my side of the aisle when they’re guilty of idiocy. With that in mind…

Dear FoxNews,

If you ever want to be consistently considered a legitimate news agency, you need to stop shit like this:

Really? Seriously? Pap smears at Walgreens? There’s no excuse for that pathetic excuse for “journalism.” There’s only two possible reasons for that, and neither is acceptable for a legitimate, professional news agency. Either 1) you didn’t do your research to ensure that you were being 100% accurate, or 2) you were flat out lying. Again, neither reason is acceptable.



* – nice to see the president leading the way in celebrating Earth Day

* – 20 tax facts that will blow your mind.

* – please don’t tell me the nation’s budget / deficit / debt crisis is a revenue problem as opposed to a spending problem when in one month the federal government spent EIGHT TIMES (yes, you read that right) what it brought in!

* – after all, if you taxed everybody making $500,000 or more at 100%, you’d still have a $839 billion deficit.

* – as long as I’m beating this horse, here are some more stats.

* – here’s a thought. How about, if increasing tax revenue is really what you’re after, let’s make sure EVERYBODY pays taxes. Yes, that includes companies like GE who somehow managed to not pay any taxes despite making around $14 billion. And it also includes the nearly 50% of the households in the country that didn’t pay any taxes, either.

* –

That’s just freakin’ awesome. 🙂

* – hmmm, gas is creeping back to the $ – $5 a gallon range and stories are starting to come back about mileage taxes:

“The Minnesota Department of Transportation believes that down the road, the increased use of fuel-efficient and hybrid cars will significantly lower gasoline consumption. That’s good. But the lower consumption will lead to a reduction in gasoline taxes paid by motorists at the pump. That’s bad.

So the DOT is testing technology that could someday be used to collect mileage-based fees from drivers. That’s either good or bad, depending on the fuel mileage of a vehicle — drivers of hybrids will lose the savings they would otherwise see in gasoline taxes, while guzzlers would pay the same mileage fees as hybrids.

“We are researching alternative financing methods today that could be used 10 or 20 years from now when the number of fuel-efficient and hybrid cars increase and no longer produce enough revenue from a gas tax to build and repair roads,” said Cory Johnson, the DOT’s project manager.

Drivers in the research project will be given smartphones with a GPS application that has been programmed to monitor miles driven.

The DOT said, “If a mileage-based user fee were implemented, motorists would pay a fee based on how many miles they drive, rather than how much gas a vehicle uses,” which is how Minnesota’s revenue is currently collected, KARE 11 in Minneapolis/St. Paul reported.

Officials in Oregon, Iowa, Nevada, and Texas are also considering a mileage tax.”

Didn’t somebody around here warn us about this a while back… ?

* – just when you thought it’d be cheaper to own an electric car.

* – so, if you’re willing to redistribute somebody else’s money, why aren’t you willing to redistribute your own GPA?

* – Atlas is shrugging.

* – so, as gas prices climb as high as $5.69 in Orlando, not only are we stifling our domestic oil production, not only are we loaning billions to Brazil so we can later buy their oil, now we’re loaning $2.84 billion to Colombia so they can drill for oil! WTF?!

* – ah, the peaceful, benevolent, refined, polite, always-prepared-with-a-logical-and-intelligent-and-never-purely-emotional-argument, Left:

* – I mean, it’s not like they’d ever make fun of a down syndrome baby or anything.

What’s that? The down syndrome baby in question is Sarah Palin’s son?

Oh, well, that makes it ok, then. Obviously. Duh!

* – so much for their cries for more civil discourse.

And that piece of intellectually stimulating commentary was from a college professor. Really, Prof, that was the best you could do? That’s supposed to make us take you seriously?

* – gotta love those unions:

“Forget the law.” Did you catch that? 1:11 in. “Forget the law.” Beautiful. Just beautiful.

* – now, I’m perfectly aware that test scores are not a 100% accurate barometer of a nation’s education quality, but I still think this graph is pretty telling about the “bang for the buck” we’re getting for all the money we’re spending on education at the federal level.

* – well, I would certainly hope so!


* – more nanny-state idiocy.

* – oh, look – more nanny-state idiocy!

* – remember what a dillbag Keith Olbermann was last week?

Yeah, well, I think his target from that incident just owned him.

* – and now for our semi-regularly scheduled Andrew Klavan video:



  1. Bingo, babee… bingo on the whole tax/spend thing.

    When gas prices get so high that I have to seriously think about quitting my job because I can no longer afford the commute, something’s wrong. Taxing me further is not going to help. I knew there was a reason I left the midwest.

  2. OK, I’ll open myself up for potential ridicule. What am I missing on the Nashua Community College sign?

    • I see it as a sexual innuendo based on a racial sterotype.

      • I don’t know, man. I saw a tall person and a short person. Lea saw the same thing.

        You know, even post-racially, we’re occasionally going to have tall black guys standing next to short white chicks. 🙂

  3. All I can say is when I showed it to the black guy I work with he immediately busted out laughing and made it the wallpaper on his iPad. 🙂

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