Posted by: nhfalcon | March 9, 2011

Hot Babes – Edited

Well, that’s a rather sexist, chauvinist, demeaning title, isn’t it? I mean, calling a woman a “babe” is meant as a compliment, but it doesn’t really come across that way, does it? Let’s face it – it’s only complimenting physical attractiveness. Sure, the “Hot Women” post I did a while back was based primarily on physical attractiveness, too, but the women in that post possessed attractive qualities (to me, anyway) beyond just physical beauty. Those women are also smart and talented and, by all accounts, decent people. The women that follow may very well be smart and talented and decent, too, but let’s be honest – they’re famous because of their looks, and specifically because their looks make guys think, “God, I’d love to bone her,” not “Gee, I’d like her to meet my mom.”

It kind of goes back to something I referenced in my “So, Why Porn?” post a while back. To me (and, I’m willing to bet, to a lot of guys), the kind of woman I fantasize about only having sex with (and that the sex in question would be fucking, not making love – there’s a difference) is not the same kind of woman as Cookiemaker, the woman I married because I love her and want to grow old with her. You don’t want to grow old with a babe, do you? Let’s be frank, with a babe you’re hoping you can sneak outta there before you’re obligated to at least buy breakfast. 🙂

However, as long as we’re being honest and frank and stuff, let’s also admit something elses, here – the women that follow pretty much (with some exceptions) marketed themselves as babes. They based their careers on their looks, on being hotties. Given that, I’m not so sure that if they ever saw this post they’d be offended.

Anyway, enough of this insightful shit – let’s ogle some babes! 🙂

Pia Zadora

Who? What do you mean, “who?” How dare you not be familiar with such masterpieces as The Lonely Lady and Voyage of the Rock Aliens?!

Cretins!

Samantha Fox

The first of Britain’s “Page 3” girls to hit it big, blessing us with a (mercifully short) music career.

Cheryl Tiegs

Arguably the first of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue supermodels.

Christie Brinkley

If Tiegs wasn’t, then Brinkley was.

Farrah Fawcett

The finest of Charlie’s angels. RIP.

Bo Derek

10. Tarzan. Bolero. Hey, at least it’s a more accomplished career than Pia Zadora’s.

Isn’t it?

Loni Anderson

Was there any other reason to watch WKRP In Cincinnati or Stroker Ace?

Morgan Fairchild

She’s actually done a LOT more than you might think (check out her credits on IMDB), but most probably remember her from the Flamingo Road and Falcon Crest primetime soaps.

Suzanne Somers

She can come and knock on my door any time!

Judy Landers

I know, I know – another “who?” You mean you don’t remember Dr. Alien?!

I’m surrounded by heathens!

(yes, there’s a theme here. What’s your point? 🙂 )

* – I can’t believe I forgot Catherine Bach.

How in the hell do you forget Daisy Duke?!

OK, so now that I’ve gone through my formative years, what about today’s babes?

Well, I’m glad you asked…

Pamela Anderson

Hey, I don’t have Barb Wire in my DVD collection for the clever subtext, ok?

Carmen Electra

Her career started by posing in Playboy. ‘Nuff said.

Adriana Lima

The hottest Victoria’s Secret model, imho.

Anna Nicole Smith

Um, yeah, well, those – I mean, that – pretty well sums things up.

Wendy Fiore

Web babe. I think the (pair of) reasons are obvious.

Kiana Tom

Fitness babe who used to have a workout show on ESPN.

Leeann Tweeden

See Kiana Tom above.

Catherine Bell

I owe Bell an apology here. She really should have been in the “Hot Women” post, because she’s more than just a “babe (to me, anyway).” She was in JAG, and is now in Army Wives, and was also in Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey.

Krista Allen

Speaking of Jim Carrey, you might recognize Krista here from Liar, Liar. Who was she? She was the girl in the elevator with the “big jugs.”

Audrey Bitoni

Porn star. Move along.

Shyla Stylez

See Bitoni above.

Priya Rai

See Bitoni and Stylez above.

Lisa Ann

See Bitoni and Stylez and Rai above.

Sofia Vergara

Apparently she’s on some sitcom that I’ve never seen called Modern Family.

The Barbi Twins

I don’t think they even had Pia Zadora’s career, did they?

Candice Michelle

The original godaddy.com girl.

Denise Milani

Another web babe.

Megan Fox

It’s pretty bad when you get fired from Transformers 3.

Nicole Scherzinger

Lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls (I’ve never heard their music, but something tells me I’d rather listen to Samantha Fox).

Yes, I could keep going, but I think I started pushing my luck quite a ways back, don’t you?

Then again, I did warn you that this post was coming, didn’t I?

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Responses

  1. Pia Zadora reminds me of Naked Gun 33 1/3. Also “3-6-9, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the streetcar line…”

    I always preferred Jan Smithers’ Bailey to Loni Anderson’s Jennifer on WKRP.

    My first exposure to Carmen Electra was the video for “Everybody Get On Up.” Yeah, tough not to be a fan. 🙂

    I know you’re all right with the artificial breastices, but I still strongly prefer all natural. There are spectacular small breasts and ugly big ones.

  2. Great Selection Of Some Really Hot Babes.

    From The Sexy Hotties Of The 70’s To Sweeties Of The New Millenium; What More Could You Ask For.

    Well We Can Always Ask For More…

  3. Denise Milani hot model able to live long


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