Posted by: nhfalcon | September 24, 2009

All Right, You Caught Me, I Admit It – I’m A Racist

I mean, I must be, right? I’m white, and I disapprove of the vast majority of the things Barack Obama is doing, so I must be a racist, right? Isn’t that how it works in this “post-partisan,” “post-racial” America?

My issues with the president couldn’t possibly be coming from a fundamental difference in political philosophies, could it? It couldn’t possibly be the fact that I believe in small government and limited federal spending. Or low taxes. Or strengthening our borders. Or allowing the private sector to be involved in reforming health care and improving the environment. Or allowing businesses in the private sector to fail if they deserve to. Or not apologizing to the world for being an American. Or…

Oh, hell – I think you get the point.

But, the scary thing is, as I look deep inside my bigoted soul, I discover even more evidence that I’m a racist…

I also think Kanye West (a black man) is “a jackass” for the way he treated Taylor Swift (a white woman) at the VMAs.

I think Serena Williams (a black woman) was way out of line for the things she said to a line judge (an Asian woman) at the US Open.

I actually feel sorry for the poor boy (who’s white) in this video as he’s beaten up not once, but twice, by black kids.

I think Megan Fox is hotter than Halle Berry.

I think Jeff Dunham is funnier than Chris Rock.

I prefer the characters Martin Riggs over Roger Murtaugh and Sonny Crockett over Rico Tubbs.

I think it should have been Quagmire who got his own Family Guy Spin-off instead of Cleveland.

I liked Vanilla Ice more than MC Hammer.*

Wait! Perhaps I can yet be redeemed! I do like chocolate pudding more than vanilla! What? That doesn’t count? Damn!

Oh, dear God, what have I become?! Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, somebody please send Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Henry Louis Gates, the ACLU and the NAACP after me! Perhaps they can re-educate me into the tolerant type of human being I should be.

(* – I actually like Hammer more than Vanilla Ice. I was just trying to make a point. Just for the record…)



  1. Did you see that HOV lanes are racist, too?

  2. You know what? I appreciate the sarcasm, but you’re really treading on dangerous grounds.

    Just as it is entirely wrong to assume that everyone who disagrees with Obama is a racist, it’s also entirely wrong to assume that racism ISN’T behind a good many people’s fundamental problem with the man.

    I’ve actually HEARD – not on the news or the radio, but in person – people talking about “the darkie in the White House.” There are a great many people in this country who are deathly intimidated by black people in general, never mind an educated, articulate, powerful black man as the leader of the free world. Just because YOU aren’t, doesn’t mean the guy sitting at the next table over isn’t…

  3. I don’t assume that there is absolutely zero racism behind the opposition to Obama. Of course there is some racism present – that is a sadly inevitable point of fact. Unfortunately, no matter how far we’ve come since the Civil War, no matter how far we’ve come even from the days of MLK and Malcolm X – and the fact that we now have a black man in the White House I think proves just how far we have in fact come – there will always be some idiots who think race matters.

    My point behind this post is the fact that the racism is apparently automatically assumed.

    Surely the only reason Henry Louis Gates – a friend of Obama’s – was arrested was because he was black and the arresting officer (Sgt James Crowley) was white. It couldn’t have possibly had anything to do with the fact Gates was observed breaking into a building and that Crowley, practicing due caution going into a situation he knew little if anything about, was just doing his job.

    Surely the only reason Joe Wilson yelled out “You lie!” to Obama is because Wilson is white and Obama is black. It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Wilson truly believed Obama to be lying at that point in the speech.

    It must be because, to quote Georgia Representative Hank Johnson, “We will have people with white hoods running through the countryside again,” if people like Wilson aren’t shut down.

    Look at some of the people Obama has surrounded himself with, both before his presidency and during it. Do a little research into Obama’s pastor for 20 years, Jeremiah Wright. You don’t think there was some “Don’t trust Whitey” being constantly thrown at the President back then? Look at Van Jones, the former Green Jobs czar – hand-picked by Obama – who once said “The white polluters and the white environmentalists are essentially steering poison into the people of color communities.”

    Is there still racism in America? Sadly, yes. Could anyone be a racist? Sadly, yes.

    But why do we automatically assume the racism? Why, in this 21st-century America, do we not look at all the other possible options first, and only after eliminating them, resort to racism?

  4. >>But why do we automatically assume the racism? Why, in this 21st-century America, do we not look at all the other possible options first, and only after eliminating them, resort to racism?

    Because, my dear Falcon – and I know this is a rhetorical question in so many ways – too many people will have to actually think to find the answer. And in thinking, they will have to face a lot of ugliness, a lot of hard choices, and we all know that the group currently holding the reins is also the one least likely to do anything if it’s at all difficult.

    Or if it makes them have to face the truth.

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