Posted by: nhfalcon | July 29, 2009

Even the Sun Shines On a Dog’s Ass Some Days…

and I would be the dog’s ass that the sun shone on today.

Allow me to make a short story as long as possible 🙂 and give you some background here…

I write for a small website that covers the NFL Draft called Consensus Draft Services. The writers for CDS get paid once a month for their services, and that pay varies based on the revenue the site generates from advertising. Being a football site, and a Draft site in particular, the revenue obviously drops during the summer months. When I got hired by CDS, I decided this additional income was the perfect excuse to go and buy a new PC. I bought it from the now-defunct Circuit City by opening a Cirtcuit City credit card. I then opened my own seperate checking account at Key Bank to deposit my CDS checks into and to pay the bills for the PC from. A few months after buying the PC in November I also renewed my subscription to The Sporting News’ “The War Room” at $4.99 a month using this new account.

I am a dog’s ass because I have not been doing a good job balancing this account. Essentially, I have forgotten about the $4.99 a month and have just been tracking making the computer payments. So, I find out back on July 23rd that my account was in the negative $4.16 because of the subscription. A couple of days later I get a notification in the mail from the bank that they’re fining me $27.50 because my account’s in the negative. On the 27th I get a $54 check from CDS. Due to work I was unable to deposit that check either on the 27th or yesterday. When I go to deposit the check this morning, I find out that even after making that deposit I am still in the negative! How? Because the bank fined me another $28.50 for not fixing the negative account balance problem within five days of the first fine.

Needless to say, I was upset. I told the teller I wanted to end my business with the bank. She said that could not be done (obviously) until the account was no longer in the negative. I took a moment to compose myself, said, “Fine. Thank you,” and walked out the door. I got halfway to the car before turning around and walking back into the bank and asking to speak to a manager.

Before I proceed, allow me to give you another reason why I am a dog’s ass. I am a dog’s ass because I should have known that both fines were going to happen. It is my responsibility to know how my account works and what my obligations are as an account holder at this bank.

Terry, the branch’s Assistant Vice President and Assistant Manager brought me into her office and asked how she could help. I was calm and polite at all times. There was no point in being a raving a-hole. As I just stated above, the situation was my fault, not her’s or the bank’s. I said as much to Terry, further stating that I really didn’t expect anything to be done, but that I just needed to vent.

After explaining the situation, Terry looked up my account on her computer, verified that everything I had just said was true, and promptly waived the second fee, putting my account back in the positive. I had also wanted to cash a seperate check, something that couldn’t be done because of the negative balance on my account. Terry initialed that check, personally walked up to a teller with me and told the teller to cash my check for me.

Just moments earlier I had tried to end my business with this bank. By going above and beyond, by having pity on an idiot (that’s me, you know – the dog’s ass 🙂 ), and by being willing to be a little flexible, Terry turned what had started out as a pretty bad beginning to the day into a pretty damn good one.

Thanx, Terry, for being the sun today, and I apologize for making you have to deal with a dog’s ass.



  1. This is lovely. I had a similar (but not quite) situation with Citibank last month. Gary was my sun and, as a result, I still have an account with them.

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