Posted by: nhfalcon | June 29, 2009

Just Another Random Monday v.6.29.09

* – remember my adventure with StubHub? Well, I was so incensed over the whole $400 thing that I forgot to mention something comparitively anecdotal…

As I tracked the progress of the package via FedEx’s website, I noticed something very strange. I live in northern New England (not that far away from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow territory, actually). The buyer lives in Rhode Island. You’d think the tickets would have gone from Point A to Point B, right? Nope. They went from my town all the way to Memphis, TN, then to RI.

Can somebody please explain to me a) how that makes any sense, and b) how that could possible be fiscally beneficial to FedEx?

* – so I drove by the jewelry store I used to work at the other day. You remember? The one that fired me? Seems they’ve gone out of business.

I had a good long laugh when I saw that.

Yes, it was small and petty.

What’s your point?

* – June 25th, 2009, 2:30PM, somewhere in northern New England… what is this strange yellow orb I see hanging in sky? It seems to me I should remember it for some strange reason. From a dream? My childhood? A movie? Whatever it is, all I know is that it makes me feel unwell, much like how I feel when I encounter garlic or a Christian cross…

* – I’m trying to read Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville.


For those of you who are not familiar with this work, allow me to explain: I’m trying to read the English translation of a 19th-Century French guy trying to observe the American political system of the time.

Light bulb coming on now? 🙂

I’ll say it again – oof!

* – pull over, Bumper Sticker Police!

* – this goes WAY beyond “Are You F#*king Kidding Me?!”

* – this is just “Are You F#*king Kidding Me?!”

* – I’m pretty sure men have more than just seven myths about sex.

* – seriously? Do we not have more important things to get in a tizzy about than an upcoming Disney flick?

* – this is not helping those of us who think English should be the official language of the United States.

* – this ain’t your mommy and daddy’s Alice in Wonderland, folks.

* – do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for somebody to do this to Terrell Owens? Now if if only similar things would happen to Chad “I Refuse to Call You OchoCinco” Johnson. And Plaxico Burress. And Brandon Marshall. And Matt Jones.

And those are just the prima donna wide receivers…

* – I’ve gotta agree with Eric Dickerson on this one. I fail to see why the NFL insists on trying to get a team back in Los Angeles. Yes, it’s the second-biggest TV market in country, smaller only than New York City, but it’s not a football town. The Rams left for a reason. So did the Raiders. LA doesn’t care about football. It’s a basketball town first. Then a baseball town. Then a soccer town. Hell, even hockey is a bigger draw in LA than football. And if the football fans in LA want football, they can go to a UCLA game.

Mark my words, if the NFL gets a team back into LA, it’ll be gone within five years.

* – if you’re for evolutionism over creationism, you’ve gotta read The Sensuous Curmudgeon.

* – why am I getting a bad feeling that we’re going to have to pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan not because it’s what we want to do, but because we’ll need the firepower to deal with not just North Korea, but Iran, too?

* – actually, Mr. Prime Minister, yes, you have.

Oh, I don’t have any proof or anything that Mr. Berlusconi gave money directly to a woman for the express purpose of sex (not that I’d have a problem with him if he did). It’s just that I’m cynical enough to have the attitude that every man has at least indirectly paid for sex in his lifetime. You took her out to dinner, right? For drinks? To a concert or a club or a movie? Who picked up the tab? Did you get laid after?

Then you paid for sex.

* – here’s to remembering the first woman many men from my generation put up on their bedroom wall.

* – no disrespect meant to the dead, here, but I really don’t have a problem with there being one less public-crotch-grabbing guy in the world.

* – this celebrity death thing really does happen in threes, doesn’t it?

* – again, all due respect, but at least the world will be a little quieter now.

* – wow! This is a first-generation black woman writing this, folks.

* – well, here’s a reason for Obama to get truly pissed at Ahmadinejad.

* – this is the healthcare plan you want?

* – this is the commercial you didn’t see on ABC (the All Barack Channel) during the healthcare infomercial the other night.

* – you wanna know what “Cap & Trade” is, folks? A “cap” on your spending power and a “trade” of your hard-earned money to somebody else in the form of energy taxes.

Don’t believe me? Check this out. Yes, it’s a transcript from the Rush Limbaugh program, which I’m sure just makes some of you want to roll your eyes and tune out, but this is important because he’s quoting directly from the “Cap & Trade” bill itself.

The people who wrote this bill know it’s going to raise energy prices. They know it’s going to cost jobs (not “create” or “save” them). They know it’s going to raise taxes. So they built into the bill programs that allow the poor people they’re going to create with the bill to pay for their energy with your taxes!

Wanna know what else it is? Hypocrisy. So Obama and his cronies make a big stink about wanting to clean up the planet leading up to the election, right? Well, if I understand “Cap & Trade” correctly (and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), Obama & Co. are now basically saying with C&T, “Actually, it’s ok if you pollute out your ass – just so long as you pay us for it.” These companies are not being made to stop polluting, gang. They’re simply being finanacially penalized for doing so. Big whoop-de-doo. They can handle those penalties without batting an eye. It’s like Major League Baseball hitting the Yankees with a luxury tax every year for having such a ginormous payroll – doesn’t stop them from being the highest-paying team every single year.

If I were a tree-hugger, I’d be pissed at “Cap & Trade” cuz it’s all talk and no walk!

* – at least today there was a little justice in the world.

A little justice, I have to add, despite the wishes of one Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Did you catch that quote? “But they had no vested right to promotion.” Excuse me?! They passed the fucking test, didn’t they? Wasn’t that how the whole thing was supposed to work? Isn’t that why they took the test in the first place? If you take the test and pass it by a high enough score, you’ll get promoted. They did. Seems pretty cut and dry to me.

“But they were almost all white and no blacks passed…”

Grrrr. Don’t get me started.

* – so one of the liberals I was working with this past Thursday was gloating over Gov. Sanford (R – SC) getting caught cheating on his wife in Argentina for five days, calling him a RWH (Republican White Hypocrite). I quickly responded, “Hey, he’s just following in the footsteps of Bill Clinton and JFK.”

My co-worker gave a little half-hearted chuckle and then shut up.

Here’s the bottom line – infidelity in politics has nothing to do with political parties. For every Sanford there’s an Elliott Spitzer. For every FDR, Gary Hart, and John Edwards left-wingers could rattle off a “who’s who” of conservatives who failed to hide the fact that their political beliefs weren’t the only things of theirs that hung to the right without batting an eye.

It has to do with money, power, and fame. Look at politics. Look at pro sports. Look at music (please, look at music! Being a rock star is the only possible explanation for Slash ever getting laid. If that guy wasn’t famous blind chicks wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole, much less let him touch them with his dick). There are some women out there who are willing to do anything to be associated with that money, power, and fame, and there are some men who cannot resist their temptations.

* – out of this list, I’d have to say I wouldn’t mind seeing #s 4, 6, 9, 17,18, & 19.

* – whaddaya think Mrs. C. – would this be a good birthday or Xmas present for Bowyer?

* – contrary to what I’m sure is popular belief, I did not design this ad.



  1. I think you’re right; Bowyer would likely love it.

    I wish you didn’t do so many links in your Monday Randomness posts; I don’t want to miss anything, but it takes me forever to get through your posts!!

  2. Nag, nag, nag. You used to bitch at me for not linking, remember? Then it was bitching because the links might be pics or vids and it would take to long for the post to load.

    Typical woman – never happy, always changing her mind…


  3. ALL U.S. FedEx parcels used to go through Memphis. L.A. to Seattle? Went to Memphis first. Swear.

    That there is controversy over making English the official language of the United States is something I have trouble pondering without willing myself to do so.

    I’ll probably have something to say about Sanford soon.

    I read today that said BK ad a) is 100% real; and b) is for the Singapore market.

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