Posted by: nhfalcon | April 3, 2009

Why Can’t the DMV KISS?

So, with the day off today, I thought I’d go get Cookiemaker’s car registered.

Let me reiterate that I THOUGHT I’d go get Cookiemaker’s car registered today.

Look, I realize that it’s on me to remember where to go in what order and what paperwork is needed when I get there in order to register a vehicle, but let’s be honest – given that we only do this once a year, how many of us have this process down pat?

I went to the DMV first. Mistake #1. There was a big sign on the door telling me I had to go to my town office and pay the excise tax first. OK, fine, whatever. I go there to get that taken care of. Except I don’t bring my checkbook with me and there’s a sign at the town office that says they only accept cash or checks (Mistake #2). So I go home and get my checkbook. When I get back to the town office and get to the head of the line the woman notices that Cookiemaker’s car was registered in a different state last year, so I need the Title (Mistake #3 – sensing a theme here?). So I go home again and find the Title (much faster than I thought I would, I’m happy to say). I go back to the town office again and get to the head of the line and pay the excise tax with a check. 

Then the woman hands me two pieces of paperwork that need to be filled out and given to the DMV because the car was registered in a different state last year. Not only that, but because the car is in Cookiemaker’s name, she has to be the one to sign off on the paperwork. Obviously, because she was working, she couldn’t sign off on the paperwork. Obviously, nobody at the DMV works on Saturday or Sunday, so now registering the car has to wait until Monday.

Oh, did I mention that technically the old registration expired on March 31st? This, of course, means that the car cannot be inspected until after I finally get it registered.


Why can’t the inspection happen regardless of the car’s registration status? Why can’t the DMV be in the same building with the town office? For that matter, why can’t there be an inspection station in that building, too? Why can’t anybody accept a debit or credit card to pay for these things? Why can’t all this stuff (well, ok, except for the inspection, obviously) be done online? What the hell did the town office need the Title for? What if the Title had been lost or destroyed? Would I be unable to register the car? Why don’t these people work on weekends? What the hell is this extra paperwork for?

I guess the best way to sum this all up would be… WTF?!

Oh, I’m sorry, what’s the KISS from the post title mean?

Keep It Simple, Stupid!



  1. One word, my friend: bureaucracy.

    Chances are pretty good that, once you get yourself properly registered in your state, you WILL be able to do the whole renewal process online or, at the very least, through the mail. I can renew online and they mail me my stickers.

  2. Keep in mind that as unemployment has grown, rapidly recently, but steadily before that, government employment has grown. Yes, friends, GROWN!

    What “excise tax” are you talking about? Is that the same as a “personal property tax” imposed so that you never truly own anything unless you have money to give the government?

  3. Man, I can’t wait for government-run health care, can you?

  4. What do you mean wait? Guess what . . . ?

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