Posted by: nhfalcon | February 13, 2009

Gettin’ Grilled by the Chili (*edited)

So the a couple of weeks ago Mrs Chili had one of those interview memes, and she asked if anybody else wanted to play. I said yes, and boy, did she gave me some real whoppers…

1)  You never really wanted to be a father.  Now that you have Little Man, though, I know you’d never, EVER give him back.  What about fatherhood has (pleasantly) surprised you the most?  What are you rockin’ in the father gig?

What has pleasantly surprised me the most?

The fact that Little Man is still alive? 🙂

 Seriously, though, I have found fatherhood to be much easier than I thought it was going to be. To be honest, though, a lot of that has to do with Cookiemaker. Make no mistake, she is a far better parent than I am. She’s a more enthusiastic parent than I am, a more responsible parent than I am… She’s just better. Period.

Another big chunk of the ease of fathering Little Man so far has been Little Man himself. He’s just a no-mess, no-fuss kind of kid. He’s never been seriously ill. No colic, no nasty ear infections, nothing. He’s had a couple of bouts of pink-eye and a mild temp or two and he bounced his head off a metal towel dispenser and had to get some stitches once, but that’s it. He’s pretty even-tempered, too. Not a lot of whining or temper tantrums. He can be willful and obstinate, sure, but, hell – so can I!

As for myself, I am growing more fond of fatherhood as Little Man grows older. When it’s easier to communicate with him, it’s more fun. It’s easier to play with him, easier to learn with him, easier to identify what’s bothering him physically or emotionally and help him. He sleeps through the night now, which means Cookiemaker and I can, too. I think we’re almost ready to get out of diapers, so that makes things easier for everyone.

When we found out Little Man was coming, Cookimaker and I rather quickly came to the realization that she’d be the primary child-rearer until around middle school or so, and then I’d be dealing with him from that point until he left the house. So far that realization has been pretty dead on. 🙂  

2)  What’s your favorite food, and where do you get it?  Why do you love it so much?

If we’re talking about a specific food item, I’ve talked about this one before here. It’s called the One-Eye Burger, and it’s found at a restaurant on Forest Avenue in Portland, ME called The Great Lost Bear. They’ve tweaked it a bit since I first ate it, but the essentials are the same – a big hunk of beef (I’m guessing a quarter-pound or so), bacon, American cheese, and one Grade A jumbo-sized fried egg. Once upon a time they had two types of cheese instead of just American and they also put a gravy sauce on it. Can you tell I’m a member of PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals)? 🙂

If you’re talking about a type of food in general, I have to admit I came away pleasantly surprised with the native food when Cookiemaker went on our honeymoon to England.

Yes, you read that right – I like British cooking.

I like my food plain, simple, and hearty. I like food that let’s me know I’m eating while I’m eating it – in other words, food that I can quite literally sink my teeth into. I also like food that lets me know I’ve eaten when I’m done. In other words, my belly is full, perhaps even almost painfully so. I like meat (red meat, white meat, dark meat, poultry, fish, other seafood, whatever – dead animal flesh is what we’re talking about here, people), cheese, bread, eggs, potatoes, pasta, rice, stews… Am I making my point yet? 

Oh, and don’t forget to have the teriyaki grilled mushrooms as an appetizer if you ever go to TGLB.

3)  You’re entirely unfulfilled professionally right now.  What are you doing to make up for that, and what steps are you taking to try to rectify it?

Why, yes, I am entirely unfulfilled professionally right now. Thank you so much for reminding me. I love being reminded of the fact that I’m tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt for no good reason. Say, while we’re at it, why don’t you drive a rusty nail through my testicles a millimeter at a time and then pour salt on the open wound?

I’m kidding. 🙂

Actually, Chili, I was hoping you could help me out with my lack of professional fulfillment. No matter how much or how logically I explain to Cookiemaker that I’d be making a boatload more money as a male porno star, she just won’t hear of it. Can you help me out with her, please? You got my back on this one? 🙂

Seriously, though, I think I’m doing all I can. I’ve signed up to be a substitute teacher for four different school systems in the local area. I keep my eyes and ears open for new job listings and put the application packets in the mail as often as I can. I’m not above hoping nepotism helps me out a bit with having Bowyer as afriend and Cookiemaker’s mom as a MIL (both are science teachers). As a superintendent I had an interview with the other day said, I “just gotta keep the faith.”

4)  You seem to have settled into married life quite nicely (what’s it been, now?  Seven?  Eight years?)  What’s the best thing about being married to Cookiemaker?

Cookiemaker and I will have been married for eight years come July 14th.

Well, I’d like to say the best thing about being married to Cookiemaker is the guaranteed source of constant sex, but… 

I’m sorry, was that TMI? 🙂

(please forgive me for the pathetic pity party that previously occupied this portion of the post. Let’s try again, shall we?)

What’s not to like about being married to Cookiemaker? That would be a MUCH shorter list! She’s smart, funny, hot, a great cook, a phenomenal parent, far more financially savvy than I am, willing to overlook my many faults, and either shares many of my interests, got involved in many of my interests after she started dating me, or allows me to have a little time to myself on a regular basis to indulge in my interests.

Beat that!

Given all that, it’s pretty easy to overlook that she’s got a little Oscar Madison in her and that she’s a Democrat. 🙂

5)  You’ve lived in the same general area all your life.  What about where you (we) live do you love so much that you’ve stayed here for so long?  What about you makes you suited to this place?

HA-HA! I haven’t lived here all my life because I’ve loved it. I’ve lived here all my life because I’m too much of a coward to take a chance and move my lazy ass elsewhere.

I hate the winter. I hate being cold, I hate shoveling snow, I hate the crappy driving conditions, and I hate the sun setting at (seemingly) three o’clock in the frickin’ afternoon. New England also seems to be the area of the country where the shitty economy hits first and the good economy hits last.

I’d much rather be somewhere sunny and warm. I’ve been to Memphis and Tampa Bay (I’d tell you more about my weekend in Tampa Bay with CelticWriter, but Cookiemaker is in the room… 😉 ), and while I’m sure I’d bitch about the humidity eventually, I did like it there. I remember a friend of mine who married an Army man and got stationed in Hawaii when she was pregnant with her first child. I was on the phone with her one night with a snowstorm raging outside my window listening to her bitch about Hawaii and how she “missed the change of seasons” in New England.

It took all of my willpower to not reach through the phone lines and strangle her.

I think I’d ideally like the southwest. Once upon a time I thought Los Angeles would be nice, but I’ve long since abandonded that idiocy. Perhaps San Diego? San Antonio? Arizona?



  1. Mr. Chili tells me I’d miss the change of seasons, too. My answer? TRY me…

    This was GOOD. Thanks for playing!

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