Posted by: nhfalcon | July 18, 2008

Yo, Waiter! How About Some Randomness Over Here?!

* – sorry, all you Democrats out there, but after visiting this site and taking this quiz, my first impulse is to vote for John McCain in November. I matched up with him 53%, compared to only 38% with Barrack Obama.

* – I had one of those “Clouds-Parting-And-Angels-Singing” moments at work yesterday. I finally had the female fascination with looking at jewelry and shoes and clothes ad naseum (sp?) without actually buying anything explained to me by a customer.

Don’t ask how we got onto that topic in the first place.

The woman, after looking around to make sure there was nobody else in the store who might be offended by her answer, said, “Well, like I’ve said to my husband, ‘Those things are to women like tits are to men, honey – no matter how many you’ve seen, you always want to look at more.'”

NOW I get it!!!

* – so, I keep seeing all these stories on the internet about how the price of oil has been falling and falling and falling.

Then why is it the price of gas at the station across the street just went up $0.05/gallon?

WTF?!

* – These are actual books I saw on sale at a store in the town I work in:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never mind the kindergarten to grade-school age kids these books were intended for, after my internship I know some high-schoolers who could stand to read these!

* – Another store offered, among other selections, these t-shirts:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In case you can’t quite tell, that’s a lobster about to go into a pot asking a lobster already in the pot how the water is, and then realizing to it’s horror exactly how the water is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know, this pic is even worse. I’m sure you can see the words “Irish Yoga.” The pictures are of a drunk man in three different poses of inebriation.

If you don’t get that humor, you’re either way too naive, or way too politically correct.

* – the same store also had a t-shirt with the pink bow for breast cancer and the sating “Save the Ta-ta’s!” It also had baby onesies with sayings like “Give me the ta-ta’s and no one gets hurt,” and “I did nine months before I got out,” and (perhaps the best one) “Mommy just wanted a back rub.”

* – I’ve mentioned in the past coffee shops with great names – “Jitters,” for example. Well, the town I’ve moved into has a coffee shop with, in my opinion, a really bad name – “The Udder Place.” First of all, there’s just nothing attractive about the word “udder.” It doesn’t look very nice, it doesn’t sound very nice, and the image it conjurs isn’t very nice. Secondly (and perhaps more importantly), while I know perfectly well where the cream in my coffee came from, do I really need to be blatantly reminded that I’m injesting something that was derived from the secretions of a female bovine’s tit?

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Responses

  1. I’ve seen emails of Irish yoga. What’s really funny is that sober people purposely put themselves in those positions – and pay ME to teach them how to do it!

  2. This is one of your best rants ever.

    I don’t compare McCain and Obama. I compare 8 years of Bushie and Mr. MeToo (McCain, McSame, McLame) with, well, anything else at all (well, not such unregenerate elitists like Mr. R.Money–but then the anti-people party, GOP, only gets to front one pitchman). Maybe I’ll vote for the libertarians.

    Rant on, rant on.

  3. Hey, Baby! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a great day, and an even greater year!

    Love ya!

    Chili

  4. Yeah, Happy Birthday!

    Eat A Peach.


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