Posted by: nhfalcon | July 15, 2008

“Hi-ho, hi-ho…”

I LOVE my new job!

Why? Allow me to count the ways…

1 – it’s only eight miles away from the new eyrie. Talk about saving time and gas!

2 – I got a small raise to take my new job. Granted, $.10/hour isn’t much, and dealing with a state income tax (something I haven’t had to do since 1996) obviously knocks the net income down a notch or two, but the savings in gas more than make up for it.

3 – my co-workers are friendly, cheerful, intelligent, and funny. The fact that they’re all female and pretty easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt, either. 😉 We’re a small staff, just me, the boss, and two others (and one of them will be gone soon – the one who doesn’t meet the aforementioned characterisitics), but we’ve all hit it off immediately.

4 – the hours are fantastic! Monday through Saturday from 10AM to 6PM and Sundays 11AM to 5PM. No nights! Holy effing crap – a retail job and I won’t have to work nights?! WOO-HOO!!!

5 – unlike at the mall, the hours are not extended at Christmastime. Oh my dear lord, I may actually have to spend time with my family! Kill me! 🙂

6 – I don’t have to wear a tie or a suit jacket. I still need to wear a button-down shirt and dress pants and nice shoes, but no ties and no jackets ROCK!!!

7 – we don’t take returns. Only exchanges for equal or greater value. Now, I can see where this is a bummer for the customer, but for a salesperson who gets commission as part of his pay, not having to worry about returns is huge! Example: the day before yesterday I sold a platinum .75 carat diamond solitaire ring for over $2,000 (it was in the clearance case – the ticket price was $5,555.00). With our “no return” policy, I never have to worry about that $2,000+ sale being taken away from me.

Now for some random observations I’ve made around the new workplace…

We have, as most workplaces do, I’m sure, various government-produced posters in the bathroom about workman’s compensation and sexual harassment and the legal minimum wage and so forth and so on. Two things on these posters amazed me:

1 – one poster had it’s information in several different languages, which in and of itself, in this “culturally diverse” country we now live in, isn’t all that remarkable. Some of the languages, however, were. I expected Spanish and French, and even the Chinese didn’t really take me aback. But Polish? Farsi?! Somali?!?!?!

2 – there was a notice on one of the posters regarding proper training to reduce the risk of injury to… wait for it… COMPUTER OPERATORS?!?!?! Seriously?! Seriously. The notice talked about making sure they didn’t hit the keys to hard, about making sure they weren’t forced to type too fast for too long, and that they weren’t forced to stay in the same position for too long, blah, blah, blah.

Are you kidding me?

Look, I’m familiar with the risk of carpal tunnel syndrome (just ask the folks over at Brazzers about my lawsuit against them 😉 ), but this notice just struck me as ridiculous. Is it really that dangerous to be a computer operator? I mean, is it like Navy SEALs could learn a thing or two from them about toughness and courage?

Please.

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