Posted by: nhfalcon | December 7, 2007

Have A Merry Christmas, Dammit!

Whether you want one or not!


I am so sick and tired of this politically correct bullshit! It seems to infest everything in life, including Christmas now! There are just too many people in the world with too little time on their hands, too much assumption of how valuable their opinions are, too little tolerance of the world around them, and too much familiarity with the saying “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

Even if there’s only one squeaky wheel and hundreds or thousands of wheels with a lifetime supply of WD-40.

“Whoa, Falcon!” you’re saying. “What’s got you’re panties in a twist today?”

First of all, they’re my wife’s panties, not mine, and I’d rather she didn’t know I was wearing them, OK? But let’s not get into that… 🙂

Anyway, the following anecdote is what’s got me so wound up: I get into work yesterday, and my boss proceeds to tell me how he’d just gotten a call from his boss. Apparently, somebody with not enough to do with their time and skin about as thick as onion paper decided to walk into one of our stores somewhere else in the country and complain about the wreaths and the Christmas tree in the store. As a result, all of our stores are now supposed to take down all wreaths and trees.

Are you effing kidding me?! As my boss then pointed out to his boss, didn’t our company just sponsor the lighting of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center back on November 28th? Hello! 

It seems to me this crap started about a year or two ago. All of a sudden people weren’t supposed to say “Merry Christmas” anymore because you might offend somebody who celebrates Hannukah (sp?) or Kwanzaa (again, sp?) or Ramadan. People weren’t supposed to put up Nativity scenes anymore for the same reason. I’m honestly not quite sure why Jews or Muslims would be offended by that. The last time I checked, both religions admit to the existence of Christ, the just don’t believe he’s the son of God. He is a prophet in both religions, I believe, but not divine.

Now it’s only gotten worse. I linked in my “I Don’t Care Who You Are, That’s Funny Right There” post a story that Santas in Australia are being told not to say “ho-ho-ho” because somebody might think they’re being called a prostitute. Well you know what I say to that? If you think Santa Clause, of all people, is calling you a whore when he gives out his trademark laugh, then you probably are!

Now check out this story. I’ll say it again – are you effing kidding me?! It’s a joke, people! Chill out, for Christ’s sake (pun intended)!

Going back to those of you who are offended by wreaths and trees: guess what? Those aren’t Christian symbols! The use of wreaths date back to the ancient Greeks. The tree tradition dates back to the pagan Germanic tribes of the Dark Ages. So shut the hell up! If you don’t like the wreaths and tree and other decorations in my store, then don’t look at them. Don’t shop in my store. Go somewhere else. Please!

Look, this is America. People do have the right to voice their opinions. I’m not saying these people don’t have the right to be heard. I’m saying their voice shouldn’t wield this kind of power. This is America, which is a democracy, which means the majority rules, and these people are not in the majority. By caving in to their demands without even a semblance (sp?) of a fight gives them power far out of proportion to their numbers. 

Here’s the bottom line, as far as I’m concerned. When I say “Merry Christmas” to you, I am not trying to jam my religion down your throat. To be honest, personally, I don’t have a religion, and, quite frankly, I don’t give a damn about yours. Worship who- or whatever you want. I don’t care. “Merry Christmas” from me is a wish of happiness, peace, and goodwill to you, not an attempt at theological conversion or a deliberate effort to offend you.

So I’m saying “Merry Christmas to everybody this year, not “Happy Holidays” or “Happy Hannukah” or whatever greeting people who celebrate Ramadan or Kwanzaa use. If you don’t like that, then allow me to turn around and dangle a sprig of mistletoe above my asscrack and give you three guesses as to what I’m telling you to do – and the first two don’t count. Suck my candy cane, OK? Lick my left eggnog, all right? Am I making my point here?

Now Merry Christmas, dammit!



  1. And a Happy Kwanzaa to you.

    The other stuff I get. The refusal to just say Happy Holidays I don’t get. If you don’t know what someone celebrates then why would you wish them a good celebration of something they don’t well, celebrate? That seems ridiculous to me. If you know someone celebrates Christmas then heck yeah, wish them that, if you know they’re lighting their menorah tonight then wish them a good time with that, even if that’s not what you’re going to do. It’s like giving a chick a jock strap. Why do you insist on giving someone something they aren’t going to use?

  2. I see what you’re saying, Kizz, but that’s kind of my point – I DON’T know what they celebrate, so why do I have to get into their personal lives and learn what religion they are before I wish them peace on earth and goodwill towards man? How awkward is that conversation going to be with a customer after I finish the sale?

    “Thank you for shopping at Brand X Jewelers today. Oh by the way, what religion do you believe in?”

    “Excuse me?”

    “I’d like to wish you joy in this holiday season, but I don’t want to offend your potentially delicate sensibilities, so before I commit the cardinal sin of wishing you a Merry Christmas only to find out you’re Jewish or Muslim, what religion do you practice?”

    My point is that “Merry Christmas,” especially nowadays, doesn’t necessarily have religious connotations anymore. It’s a wish of joy, of goodwill, of peace. Can’t people just accept that for what it is?

    Believe me, if I want to offend you, you’ll know it. Subtlety is not my strong point. And if I do that, then I’m an ass. But if you take a sentiment that’s intended to be the pinnacle of wishing humanity some relief from all the horrors of the world and turn it into a personal affront, then you’re the ass. You’re not truly offended – you’re just looking for attention.

  3. Subtlety is NOT Falcon’s strong suit; I can attest to that. Sometimes that’s a good thing; sometimes, not so much.

    I’m going to stick my neck out here, though, and suggest that you do switch the “merry Christmas” to “happy holidays.” It’s a simple change to make and it’s a lot more inclusive than the Christmas wish. I agree with you that “merry Christmas” doesn’t have a whole lot of religious connotations anymore, but I also know that I get uncomfortable when I’m out with O’Mama – who’s Jewish – and she is wished a merry Christmas. It seems inconsiderate to me (though she never makes a fuss about it). Happy Holidays includes everyone except maybe those who choose not to celebrate anything, and what fun are they, anyway?

  4. I completely agree that the removal of trees and weaths in your store is an unnecessary and unfortunate decision on the part of your upper management. Private businesses, much like private citizens, have the right to display holiday decor of their liking and should not be intimidated by a small vocal minority. I also agree that winter greenery does not represent any particular faith and should be acceptable forms of seasonal embellishment even for government property. However, I feel your general frustration with political correctness is misdirected and your understanding of democracy fails to acknowledge the exceptions carved out by our Bill of Rights. While America is a democracy, or representative republic, majority rule does not always apply. You see, what’s right is not always popular and what’s popular is not always right. Our Constitution is designed to protect the individual, even the radical minority, from government oppression. Freedom from government sanctioned religion was so crucial to the establishment of our personal rights that it was set out in the First Amendment.
    I understand your frustration with the ridiculous policy revision of your employer, but how would adopting a holiday salutation of blatant insensitivity solve the problem or serve your best interests?

  5. Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Happy Holidays is not a huge change and it’s a simple sign of respect. Let’s say you lived in certain neighborhoods near me and people went around wishing you Happy Chanukah. I’m betting you’d be ranting about that on your blog instead. However, that’s what everyone is in that neighborhood celebrates so if you’re different do you have to suck it up or couldn’t we all get along with a plain old Happy Holidays? It includes the new year, too, which is everybody’s holiday over here, too! Super!

    I think your store changing decorations is stupid because the person who decorates gets to decide what they celebrate. If people of other celebrations don’t want to patronize a store that celebrates Christmas then they shouldn’t! Get your diamond chip pendant elsewhere you damn heathen! 🙂 A store is not a government organization it can have whatever religion it damn well pleases. Now, if they want to ensure as many customers as possible it might behoove them to decorate with an eye to various religions but they certainly don’t have to.

  6. I don’t care what other people say in the wintertime, whether “happy holidays,” “merry christmas,” “wanna buy stuff you don’t want or need for people who also don’t want or need it,” “the economy is counting on you,” Jo, Jo, Jo,” etc. I don’t care what decorations they put up, and what lights they waste electricity on (I waste some, too). I don’t care what other people believe (and I wish they’d be so tolerant, some of them). I don’t care what stores do, or whether they display seasonal stuff or not–it won’t make me buy anything if they do.
    In fact, if they skipped the whole shootin’ match, I wouldn’t care. Well, hold on here, maybe I care a little.

  7. OK, so maybe my reaction was a little knee-jerk. I suppose I am being a bit hypocritical here. After all, here I am talking about people with “too much assumption of how valuable their opinions are (and) too little tolerance of the world around them” and then I turn around and tell people to kiss my ass if they don’t like what I have to say. Hello, Pot, my name is Kettle. 🙂 Perhaps I do need to practice at least a bit of what I preach.

    That being said, I nevertheless feel compelled to respond to a couple of points….

    Mrs. C., why do you feel uncomfortable when O’Mama is wished a Merry Christmas? Why do you think that is inconsiderate? I’m willing to bet the majority of the people who are saying that to her don’t know she’s Jewish (if they do, then yes, they are being a-holes). Therefore, when they say that to her, they’re not trying to be inconsiderate. In fact, they’re trying to be the complete opposite.

    NakedMessenger, believe me, I understand our Constitution and our Bill of Rights. I have a MAT in Education to teach secondary level social studies. My reference to America being a democracy and therefore the majority ruling was a deliberate oversimplification to make a point. I’m not talking about the government oppressing these people; I’m talking about these people wielding power far out of proportion to their numbers. ONE person has it in his / her power to dictate how an entire retail chain should decorate its stores?! Come on!

    And how is saying “Merry Christmas” to someone blatant insensitivity. I’m wishing somebody peace, joy, goodwill, and happiness, and I’m being blatantly insensitive? Huh?!

    Kizz, if I lived in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood and people wished me a “Happy Hannukah” all the time my response to each and every one of them would be a heartfelt “thank you” because I would know the intent behind their sentiment (and I’m not just saying that – ask Mrs. C.).

    That’s my point – these people are getting pissed for stupid reasons. Instead of appreciating these overtures of warmest wishes for what they are, they’re upset that’s it’s not being done their way on their terms just for little ol’ them. They’re basically saying “If I can’t be wished a joyous life the way I want it to be wished, then I don’t want it wished.”

    Well, F#@K YOU” then!

    See, told you I wasn’t subtle. 🙂

  8. I can’t let this go. Being wished Merry Christmas by people who don’t know me (I celebrate Christmas but they don’t know that) is one of my pet peeves and I was doing so well at keeping the fury at bay this year but now you’ve brought it out. I had a whole diatribe written in my head about how it’s arrogant and presumptive and you don’t fucking know me…but the truth is that Ron White said it best, “That’s profiling. And profiling is WRONG.”

  9. […] Last year it was dealing with people who are offended by “Merry Christmas.” This year it’s people who seem to feel they need to apologize for what Caucasians have done to Native Americans in this country before they can celebrate Thanksgiving with a clear conscience. […]

  10. […] Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Remember this post? How about this one? This one? The one thing that really gets me, though, is the number of people who return […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: