Posted by: nhfalcon | August 9, 2007


So this past Monday I helped my friend Fishbait (don’t ask 🙂 ) set up her new store. As soon as I got in my car at 7AM the day was full of interesting / aggravating observations…

1) When I turned the radio on I was greeted with an ad for some scumbag lawyer who apparently makes his living solely from protecting people who are in court for DUI. A quote from the ad went something along the lines of, “A DUI is a serious offense, so you need the best legal protection you can get…” blah, blah, blah.

Um, no. DUI is a serious offense, so you need to do your time and pay your fine and learn not to drink and drive, asshole!

2) A news story that came on the radio a few minutes later had this interesting item. While the story itself didn’t involve illegal immigrants, the DJ’s postulated that the clay figures could be used as illegal alien versions of duck decoys to fool American Border Patrol agents. Great. Way to go, guys. Give ’em suggestions so more of ’em can come over. Don’t get me started.

3) On a similar note, later in the day I started constructing wheeled, four-tiered bins used for holding sale and clearance items. I opened the box containing the parts for the first of three of these contraptions and took out the instructions.

They were in Spanish!

As in completely in Spanish. As in not a single word of English (or any other language, for that matter). WTF?! Do we live in the United States of Mexico now or something? I have enough of an issue with instructions coming in a half-dozen (at least) languages nowadays, but only in Spanish?! Keep in mind that I live in northern New England. There is not a large Latino population in these parts. If these instructions were going to be in any foreign language for this region, I would have expected French.


4) I will preface this next item by admitting (once again) that I am a typical male pig. One of the other male workers was wearing a shirt that said “I support working moms.”

The picture underneath the words was a silhouette of a shapely, long-haired, naked woman dancing on a pole.


5) Along the same vein, I’m glad I was only helping out for two days at this place. The vast majority of the helpers (there may have been twenty to thirty of us at any given time) were teenage girls. Attractive teenage girls. It was warm and sunny outside. The AC wasn’t working particularly well. They were dressed accordingly. I was having a hard – ah, um, excuse me, I meant difficult – time finding a safe place to put my eyes.

I am ashamed (quoting Jacques from Finding Nemo)

6) This store is primarily a clothing store for preteen girls. It does, however, sell other items. CD’s, DVD’s, MP3 players, toys (what in the hell are Webkinz supposed to do, anyway?), and so forth. It also sells candy. I set up one of the candy racks, and it was all I could do to keep from throwing up looking at some of the crap our children are ingesting. One item I distinctly remember was Nick(elodeon) Candy Spongebob Squarepants Gummy Krabby Patties – gummy candy that looks like cheeseburgers

I want to barf just remembering these things.

What truly amazed me, however, was the fact that there was a box for “Nutrition Facts” for these things! Nutrition facts?! For these things?! Um, how about NONE! How about nurition fiction?

7) Finally, some of the products that were available in this store only serve to further the enabling of the feelings of entitlement our kids have. I saw more shirts with mottos like “me, me, me,” and sleep masks with slogans like “go away,” then I cared to. I realize that as a decently responsible parent I have the power to say, “No, you can’t have that,” but it seems to me that there are fewer and fewer decently responsible parents around these days.



  1. I love your ranting posts! There’s so much of your bitching that I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH that I’m almost sorry *I* didn’t write the post.

    I may come off as a mean old mother for not letting my children watch Nickelodeon, but I don’t care. The crap the kids are receiving from channels like that has no redeeming value whatsoever. I’ve taken to TiVoing some of the shows I watched as a kid – The Munsters, the Cosby Show, that sort of thing. There was no violence, imagined or otherwise, the characters respected one another and there were actual stories to follow. Why do those things seem to be out of the realm of current culture’s capabilities?

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