Posted by: nhfalcon | July 31, 2007

More Randomness…

* A while back I posted about the inanity of the Paris Hilton saga. Apparently someone agrees with me.

Shooter is a GREAT movie!

* Just when I thought Americans had cornered the market on stupidity, I see a story like this one.

I mean, come on! Yes, we Americans have been known to do some asisnine stuff when our favorite sports teams win a championship. We’ve turned over cars, damaged property, started fires, started fights, and/or gotten drunk and disorderly. In 2004 a young woman was even accidentally killed by a police officer in Boston after the Red Sox won their first World Series in 86 years.

The difference between that accidental death and the ones in the story above is that the Boston police officer fired a weapon that was designed from the ground up to be nonlethal. These moronic Iraqis were shooting off guns!

This is nothing new in that part of the world, by the way. I’m currently reading Inside Delta Force by Master Sergeant Eric Haney (USA Ret), one of the founding members of the unit. He was stationed in Beirut in the Eighties. One of his lasting memories of that assignment is of a jubilant father celebrating his son’s wedding by firing off an AK-47 assault rifle. One of the rounds struck the new bridegroom, killing him. In despair, the father then shot and killed himself.

WTF?!

Now, before anybody goes off and accuses me of being anti-Muslim or racist or anything like that, I would like to emphasize that I am not. My parents did their best to raise me not to be that way, and I think they’ve succeeded (for the most part – my hackles do start to rise whenever I see a skateboarder or hear a French-Canadian accent 🙂 ). But, as Forrest’s mama used to say “Stupid is as stupid does.” 

* I got my diploma in the mail the other day. I now offically hold a Master of Arts in Teaching degree. Now will somebody please hire me to be a frickin’ teacher? PLEASE?!

* I turned 38 back on July 21st. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I know life could be a lot better than it is right now. I also know it could be a hell of a lot worse. I guess I’ll just count my blessings and keep on keepin’ on.

* I can’t believe how stupid rich people can be. The other day I left the mall to get back into my car and stopped to admire the black late-model Jaguar sedan parked next to me.

Then I happened to glance in the back seat.

Sitting there was a gallon of milk and a couple of steaks. Did I mention the Jag was black? Did I mention it was sunny out that day? And that the temperature and the humidity were both in the mid-eighties?

Dumbass!

* Finally, is it just me, or are clothing store mannequins getting just a little too, um, “lifelike?” First it was female mannequins with nipples on the breasts. Is that necessary? The last time I checked, most women were embarassed if their nipples were visible to the general public. Then I noticed a female mannequin wearing a bikini at an American Eagle store in the local mall. Let’s just say the bikini bottom fit really well. Is it necessary for a female mannequin to be capable of having (*ahem*) “camel toe?”

The topper came when I started a new job at one of the other clothing stores in the same mall. As I was given the tour of the store by my new boss, we popped into one of the back rooms where the mannequins are stored. Lying about were several unused, undressed, male mannequins. No, they were not completely anatomically correct, but…

DAMN!

I wish I had a package like that! Is it really necessary for a mannequin to be capable of giving real live human being penis envy?

I am anything but a prude. I am one of the few people you will likely ever hear of who can wax eloquent about porn (just ask Mrs. C.). But for some reason these mannequins just strike me as being a bit over the top.

Oh, by the way, if you’re one of those women who isn’t embarassed to have her nipples visible to the general public, feel free to introduce yourself, ok? 🙂

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Responses

  1. You know that the (really awful but I still watch it) TV show that David Mamet created, The Unit is based on that book, right? ACK! I was just about to ask to borrow Inside Delta Force when you were done and I realized I’d forgotten to bring back BHD while I was home last weekend. Sorry!

    Congratulations on the diploma!

    Happy Birthday!

    I never used to wear bras, there’s really no point for me, so the nipplage wasn’t a big deal until someone TOLD me it was, now I get all self-conscious.

  2. You know, Kizz, I haven’t seen a single episode of that show. The joys of working retail (and being to lazy to program the VCR or ask a friend to TiVO it 🙂 ). My students during my internship recommended it highly, though.

    My copy of the book makes it quite plain that the show is based on the book. I’ll be happy to lend it to you when I’m done, and don’t worry about BHD – it gets to me when it gets to me.

  3. First of all? I LOVE your randomness posts!

    Second, it’s funny that I’m reading about nipplage here. We were at Bowyer’s tonight. The grown-ups kicked the kids out of the pool, grabbed ourselves some beers and were floating around on noodles. After we got out, we all changed back into dry clothes and popped the wet suits and towels into the dryer for a bit. As we were taking them out, Bowyer ended up with my bathing suit top (we were folding the lot at random) and made some comment about the formed cups in the thing. He wondered what the hell one would want formed cups in bathing suits for, until I pointed out that little anatomical habit that nipples have when their support body hits cold water. “Ah” was his only reply. DUH!

  4. First, let me correct a mistake: Eric L. Haney’s rank when he retired from the United States Army was Command Sergeant Major.

    Second, remember when catalogs like Lillian Vernon and Harriet Carter (an aside here – what’s with these types of catalogs having names that sound like Revolutionary War heroines from Vermont?) would sell bras DESIGNED to show off the nipples while still providing support? What demographic was this product targeting?

    “Let’s see, we need to attract the women in the world who can dial a rotary phone without their hands. What can we do for them? I know…!”

  5. I can tell you exactly whom the temperature-affirming bra is targeting (heh! targeting):

    Guys like us, and the women who appreciate that a tasteful and platonic glance of bosom is a healthy thing for everyone.

    Heartiest congratulations on getting your MAT! I just finished my M.Ed. and it felt very satisfying to hold the piece of paper declaring for the world what I already knew: I know something. I’m sending good vibes your way for a job this fall.

  6. Hope I’m adding this comment to the right post.
    When you refer to some idiotic activity by people living in another country (I am not sure I consider “Iraq” to be a country, btw) there is no possibility of it being construed as a racist comment for at least two reasons: 1) truth is never racist, sexist, or otherwise in bad taste, whether “political correctness” urges that we not express certain truths because they might hurt someone’s feelings is beneath my notice and should be beneath everyone’s; 2) the people of “Iraq” are not of a different race, there is but one race of people (let’s not get into the irresolvable issue of whether there are 2 races: men and women!).

  7. […] P.S. – while exploring the above linked website, I clicked on “Mr. Pushup Bra Inventor” (a man deserving of a Nobel prize, imho… ). A new window opened, and in addition to the audio of the commercial was a story written by a woman about how to deal with, as she put it, Agressive Nipple Syndrome, something I had alluded to in a previous post. […]


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