Posted by: nhfalcon | May 15, 2011

J.A.R.D. v.5.15.11

* – there’s a lot of pics and vids in this one, boys and girls, so brace yourselves…

* – ah, the bikini

* – um, yeah…

Great body, horrible parenting skills. FAIL!!!

* – shy? Socially awkward? Don’t worry – just take tequila!:

* – after 25 years, I certainly didn’t see this coming.

* – best of luck to Matthew Perry. I knew he was dealing with some addiction issues earlier in his career, but I was not aware they still plagued him.

* – all right, now this looks like it’ll be a funny movie:

All right, all right, fine, you caught me – I only want to see it because it has Jennifer Aniston in lingerie simluating sex acts. What’s your point? Is that wrong? I am a heterosexual man, damn it! :)

* – I’m relatively certain this was somebody being a wiseass, not an innocent mistake:

It is funny, though. :)

* – are these the 100 cheesiest movie lines of all time?:

Maybe, but I can’t believe this wasn’t one of them:

(go almost all the way to the end of the clip, about 2:14 in – oy! :) )

* – Disney just trademarked the term “SEAL Team Six.”

I shit you not.

I’m sure the Team loves all the attention, too.

* – ladies and gentlemen, John Denver’s “Annie’s Song,” the radio edit:

:)

* – now this is how you sing the national anthem:

Any chance we can get this guy to sing at the next Super Bowl instead of the likes of Christina Aguilera?

Oh, and by the way, in case you think he’s singing made-up lyrics, check it out -

* – all right, so we’re ok with male students in school in drag, but not with “soda in drag?”

(yes, the above is this week’s installment of “Nanny-State Idiocy”)

* – how about that Chevy Volt, huh? No lies, false advertising, or blatant environmentalist pimping there, huh?

Oh, and no crony capitalism, either, obviously.

* – George W. Bush or Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann misspeaks, the press crows about it. Barack Obama misspeaks, all you hear are crickets. Weird.

* – so much for the most transparent administration ever.

* – what is government spending costing you?

* – how’s that job creation working out, huh?

* – somebody’s just a little too excited to meet The One:

(dude’s gonna need a cigarette and a nap after that… :) )

* – believe it or not, I don’t have a problem with ending government subsidies for Big Oil.

So long as we end subsidies for alternative energy companies, too.

As a matter of  fact, why don’t we just stop subsidizing all companies? Let the market actually determine who succeeds and who fails. What a novel concept, huh?

* – speaking of alternative energy

* – so now the federal government is telling companies where they can and cannot build their facilities?

I’ve said it multiple times before, but it looks like I’ll be getting to say it time and time and time again – Atlas Shrugged, anyone?

Oh, and don’t even try to tell me the heavy hand of union influence isn’t ALL over this.

* – should we return to the gold standard?

Guess how I would answer that question.

* – another example of “if Scott Walker or Chris Christie challenges public sector unions, freak out, but if a Democrat does the same thing, go easy on them.”

* – great back and forth here between Tony Katz and Contessa Brewer:

Love the term Tony used – “racers.” That’s awesome!

* – “You know the moment when you realize that fine, accomplished brother is with a White woman? Let’s call it ‘the wince.'”

Um, excuse me?! 

Let’s rewrite that quote a little differently, shall we?: “You know the moment when you realize that fine, accomplished white man is with a “Sistah?” Let’s call it ‘the wince.'”

Now you’re screaming racist, aren’t you?

So why weren’t you the first time?

* – if the employment rate for black men was at a record low under a Republican administration, would you be crying “RACISM!”?

If so, why aren’t you now

* – um, this would be an advertising fail:

Mr. Jobs, I believe the NAACP would like to have a word with you…

* – 48 women are raped EVERY HOUR in the Congo.

But the United States is viciously disrespectful towards women.

If it is, what does that make the Congo?

* – quick aside: is this gruesome? Yes. Well-deserved? Abso-fucking-lutely!

* – if the U.S. is viciously disrespectful towards women, what does that make Saudi Arabia, where a woman is considered “brave” if she dares to drive a car by herself?

* – well, you certainly can’t say Andrew Klavan is afraid to take on controversial issues…

* – think about helping out Declaration Entertainment, won’t you?

* – as long as we’re talking about Bill Whittle…

* – so the TSA is patting down babies now?

* – so, you heard about the Yemeni guy who rushed the cockpit of a commercial jetliner, right?

Did you hear he was shouting “Allah akbar!” while he was doing it?

No? Huh. Weird. I wonder why not… ?  

* – really, Pakistan? Really?

Bring it on, bitch!

* – can everybody please calm down over the proliferation of reporters and anchors saying “Obama” when they meant “Osama”? Nobody (well, nobody in their right mind, anyway), not even me, wants the President dead. The two names are very similar. There’s only a one-letter difference. It’s a slip-up, ok? Let it go. FOX people did it, MSNBC people did it, everybody did it. Just move on, all right?

* – so much for Osama being this great religious leader. Turns out he was a horndog just like the rest of us.

* – yeah, so why is it ok to shoot an unarmed man in the face when it’s not ok to waterboard?

* – here’s some of the best “death of bin Laden” political cartoons I’ve seen since the raid took place:

Amen.


Responses

  1. Did you see this lovely bit of nanny statism?: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/05/11/health/main20062059.shtml

    I cannot believe schools claim that we aren’t spending enough money on education, and then the state wants to spend millions to take photos of what kids are eating.

  2. When I read “SEAL Team Six,” I thought “Fox Force Five.” Heh.

  3. You think that’s bad? Try living down here. Now one of our *lovely* senators is going to personally hand out thank you cards to the SEALs.

    Because of course we should let the whole world know where these guys and their families live.

    And I can tell ya first hand about some of them there side effects of tequila…


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